Testimony from Esther
Hi my name is Esther and I was born just like most of us in this world, only I was born a P.K. (Perfect Kid or otherwise known as a "Pastor’s Kid.") We lived in a massive suburb of about 500 people. In other words you blink and you miss the whole town. My Dad pastored a church there until I was about 6 years old. He decided to go back to College and finish getting his degree. So we moved! The beginning of many many moves of my life. (Thirteen in eighteen years.)
We moved to a slightly larger town in Arkansas probably about 1,000 or more. One night when I was 7 years old I had a dream that everyone else was going to Heaven and I was left behind. This really scared me. So I asked my Mom why and she showed me from the Bible what it meant to be saved. I was drawn to God, wanting to miss Hell.
Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God ". Because of this sin we all deserve the penalty of death.
Romans 6:23 "For, the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord ".
The good news at the end of this verse is that because of Jesus payment on the cross, Him dying in my place, I could be saved from Hell.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". It seems so simple yet is so true. If I or you had been the only one on Earth, Jesus would have still died for us. He died for you, too. This is a free gift to everyone.
I wish I could say that I was the perfect Christian girl, after all, I was in a pastor’s family. That would be lying to you. I strayed from my Heavenly Father and went back into the world. I now realize that this was a big mistake and cost me a lot of problems in the future, which I will explain.
I went on through out my life living on the outside like a religious person but on the inside I was mixed up and confused and living without God. I graduated from high school and went on to Bible College, that's what everyone expects from a perfect Christian....Right? Well, not really.
After college I went back to my parents for a little while. Almost a year later my brother asked if I would like to come live with them. It finally worked out to move up with my brother and his family.
My brother was attending a really good Bible believing church and they helped me see who I really was... a Religious person. Clean and white on the outside, yet on the inside I was empty. In fact, I was so empty and lonely on the inside that I was struggling with the thought of taking my life. I put on a good show though...no one knew.
I was miserable since I knew I wasn't living in God's will. Satan was trying to convince me to take my life, he wanted my soul. God kept me from doing it. These were dark times in my life.
One of the pressures that pulled me into the world was that I was still in the wrong crowd letting people pull me down trying to please them and not please God. I was trying to do what I thought they expected of me instead of what God expects of me. You can't please people... don’t even try. They will only be pleased part of the time.
Later on I started using the Internet as a means to meet people. It was at one of these meetings that a friend said something to me. I’m not sure of his exact words, but he said that you have to make Christ real in your heart. You can act saved, live like one on the outside, say all the right things, but you have to have a real relationship with God for it to work and it only works Gods way. That relationship only comes by knowing His Son Jesus. Not in your mind, but in your heart.
I had recently started reading the Bible again and when he told me that you have to have a real relationship with God, it was as if the light bulb had just been turned on in my mind. The most important decision in your life is knowing God. God was the one I was looking for all those years. The second most important thing is living day by day for Christ and making each day count for Christ. It was at this point I dedicated my life to Christ. I was a new creature, old things were passed away, all things became new. I felt wonderful. This is what I was searching for earlier in my life. The only problem was that I was looking to the world and not to God. I wish I understood this better when I was younger, I could have avoided many hard times alone.
In some ways it feels that the closer you get to God the more unworthy you feel. How could a Holy Awesome God want me? Well, all over the Bible it talks about Gods love for us, how He sent His only Son to die for us on a cruel cross. And if He hadn’t have died we would all be lost. Someone had to pay the penalty for our sin. He would have died on the cross even if you were the only one on Earth.
If you are struggling through life, surrender to God. He is the only one who can fill the void we each have down deep in our soul. He is there to help you through anything. He gives you joy beyond understanding.
May God bless you as you read these testimonies? Even though I don’t know you I’m praying God will get a hold of your heart. Serving God is the best decision you’ll ever make.
Don’t wait! You never know when your last day on Earth will be. I had a friend in college that died suddenly at 18 years of age. He didn’t know he had an enlarged heart. One day his heart just blew up. Just as he didn’t know, neither do you...so don’t wait any longer give your heart to Christ...today!
Esther
